Estella Tse 5/7/25 Estella Tse 5/7/25

Devils

My first Scaniverse splat. A little iddy bitty 3.5” x 2.5” canvas painting.

I did a few splat scans. This one is:

Mesh scan
I removed as much from the surface as possible…..

Estella Tse 5/6/25 Estella Tse 5/6/25

Not Yours to Hold

It was never yours to hold
I’m sorry we placed that into you
The belief that you could be the only one to help us
It wasn’t yours
And we’re sorry

It was our chaos. It was our pain, our frustration, our mayhem…

Estella Tse 4/25/25 Estella Tse 4/25/25

Samatha

The daily creative work isn’t just about skill-building. It actually is not that at all.

It’s about showing up as myself, to myself, with my creativity. Honoring the authenticity of what and how I want to create as an expression of myself in the moment.

It takes a lot of mental fortitude to have gotten here - to break out of the high level expectations of my ArtCenter upbringing, to turn down the perfectionist voice. I frankly couldn’t have done this without regular art therapy sessions, which has taught me to make simply because I feel like it. This has required a lot of self-trust, discipline, and grounding to remember that my art is mine. And I can make it however I desire and please.

Whether it be a pencil, watercolor, VR, whatever new tech thingy, these are all mediums of my creation. I span and stretch the spectrum of creation….

Estella Tse 4/19/25 Estella Tse 4/19/25

A Moment to Feel

Learning to step away from intensity,
To take moments to sit in my quiet,
To allow myself to just be silent in my mind and being.

Even when it’s good intensity with lots of social time and exertion with friends,
I still need to carve time and space for myself….

Estella Tse 4/15/25 Estella Tse 4/15/25

Worth Making

I remember thinking, “I’m not good enough.
I’m not creative enough.
I’m not abstract enough.
I’m not original enough.”
and the list could go on.

I would see other artists’ work and wonder….

Estella Tse 4/14/25 Estella Tse 4/14/25

the other side of grief

I am incredibly lucky to have the life that I do.

As I get a bit older, I do believe I am very, very lucky. I feel I have guardians that protect me. I feel that I have a strong compass of what I believe is right and wrong. I am extremely grateful for the deck I’ve been dealt - to have safety in many forms, to have love in SO many forms, to have opportunities, and to have the innate optimism and discipline to make more opportunities for myself, too. I have a lot of supporters, I have a tremendous support system.

I am lucky to be gifted an ability and openness to feel deep connection with nature, humanity, and the things beyond our physical realm.

Perhaps that’s why VR feels natural to me. It’s an extension of how I feel - in my body AND externally out into the world(s) around me….