breathe easy
ahahahha going onto Instagram feels like I’m being pummeled with a barrage of sounds and stimulation - and I have deleted it from my phone already after making that one reel the other day. ahahhahaha
Things I’m learning to accept and understand about this phase right now:
I do much better with quiet
I do much better with controlled input to my nervous system, mind, attention, and focus
There’s no need to feel guilty or selfish for that. It just is.
My creativity and mental health THRIVES without the external noise.
My creativity and mental health THRIVES in my day-to-day life with……
can there be a new way of making things?
How might I move away from social media to engage with my audience?
Is it possible to build a brand in the modern era without exploiting the attention, social media addiction, and (already diminishing) energy of my followers and supporters?
I want to create to nourish, to replenish, to provide reprieve for my friends, family, and followers of my work. How might I do that?
And - can my art do that for people?
ain’t no saint
“WELP. I BREATHED. I’M DONE MEDITATING.”
It’s okay to be hella impatient with painting and ‘breathing’ on some days 😂😂😂 I’m no fuckin saint LOL
This was a fun little chinese brush experiment. I did one wash all the way around the paper. I dropped some more thicker ink at the center, and moved the paper around in different angles to get the ink to flow along the spiral - using gravity and momentum to move the ink along. Fun little doodle to play with.
Inhale • Exhale
Experiments using the Chinese brush with acrylic inks and making marks while doing breathing exercises.
Power in Compounding
Taking learnings in financial wealth building - it’s about compounding. The key to building a strong, stable foundation. A little at a time goes a long way.
Part of my mental health and creative practice integration means I still need to meditate and paint freely several times a week to show my mind + body + soul that I’m here for it. That inner Estella can still create and BE as she desires, even with the flurry of exciting huge things in the winds….
Every morning is an opportunity for a new start
No one is stopping you.
No one is making the rules.
You can change, set into motion, change, and BE whoever you want to be - TODAY.
No need to ask for permission. You just can.
Your life is your own. Your path is your own.
What will you do with the opportunity before you?
Kwun Yum 觀音
A return back to self
Return back to my heritage and roots
Goddess of compassion
Goddess of love and blessings
There’s No Perfectionism in Buddhism.
The answer isn’t in doing this right.
Remember to sit in the quiet - the yin.
You’ll find your answers within.
You’ll find your answers withyin LOLOLOLHELP….
Rewiring Neurosystems
The early stages of moving from Scorpio South Node (intensity, transformation) to Taurus North Node (stability, embodiment) often involve creating structured routines as a necessary foundation. However, the mature expression of Taurus energy isn't rigidity but adaptable stability—like a tree that's firmly rooted yet flexible enough to bend with the wind.
From a neurobiological perspective, this is part of the recalibration process. Your nervous system first needs consistent routines to establish safety, but eventually needs to develop flexibility within stability….
Expansion into Full Creative Expression
I'm more than just one type of artist. I create more than just watercolor paintings, digital illustrations, expressive figure drawings, immersive VR/AR exhibitions. The challenge I’ve had with all of these labels is that I truly don’t feel that any of them really encompass who I am as a full creative person.
Yes, I’m very well versed in creating art pieces with new technology. I’m also very well versed in visual storytelling with one static 2D image.
The things that are less visible….
Discomfort in Peace
I want a Life of fulfillment, with a sense of abundance, of belonging, joy, peace, protection, safety, love, and always with a dog.
It means getting used to the peace. It means riding the discomfort of my neurological system literally rewriting and rewiring itself to a Life of safety and stability.
It means letting go of the things that don’t align nor match with that.
It means leading with my nervous system
It means leading with….