Estella Tse 7/17/25 Estella Tse 7/17/25

Some days are just harder than others

A little more hurt

A little more pain

A little more suffering

A little more struggle

Keep your head above water as best you can, babe. ♥

Estella Tse 7/14/25 Estella Tse 7/14/25

Daily Painting Workflow

Do you love data visualization and making creativity sound super rigid and analytical?
Well, welcome to my brain! 😂

I’m trying to get into the habit of visualizing, documenting, and sharing my process and flow. I’m a kinesthetic and visual learner, and words help me feel structured. Documentation is something I love to do! It takes time but it’s the “show my work” portion of my creative process.

I think most illustrators would show their process via drawings and even fun zine/comics style. Welp! I do charts! And HOW-TO docs! 😂😂😂 Perhaps why my friend Heather has called me “Data Maiden” more times than once!……….

Estella Tse 7/2/25 Estella Tse 7/2/25

you can’t save everybody

Being with ultra compassionate and empathy-driven friends, this is something we’ve been learning — and still struggle with.

Or maybe that people can be saved - but not by me.

There’s a limit of what can be done; there’s a limit of how much can be given; there’s a limit to capability and capacity.

I spoke tenderly to a friend last week about how there’s a part of me that wanted to be the hero. I wanted to take pride in being the savior. There’s so much history loaded there with my role in my family and the pain I wanted to take away (and absorb!!!) from my parents. If I could hold it, maybe they wouldn’t have to suffer. I was young, I had so much capacity, I could be their container.

I think that showed up in some of my hardest moments in life, too.

If I don’t have needs or wants, I could make sure others will be released from their suffering.

Martyr mentality! WHOOF!!!…….

Estella Tse 6/30/25 Estella Tse 6/30/25

Oregon Plein Air with Heather

Estella Tse 6/30/25 Estella Tse 6/30/25

Sleepy Girl

Estella Tse 6/23/25 Estella Tse 6/23/25

Just Bryan ❤️

Estella Tse 6/18/25 Estella Tse 6/18/25

wisdom from my future self

Where am I?

What am I like?

What do I love to do?

What advice could I give my present self?

Have FUN! Go swim in the river!

You’ve already gotten so far in becoming yourself.

You still have youth, health, vivacity!

Your visions, ideas, inventions won’t disappear. Things can rest for a day or two.

You’re on the right track….

Estella Tse 6/17/25 Estella Tse 6/17/25

i’m creating my own ecoSYSTEM

One with less hustle.
One with less dehumanizing.
One that embraces natural rhythms of inspiration, rest, incubation, creation, research, down time, space for mental rollercoasters, exploration, gardening, doing things just because, and joy-filled days.

I believe it’s possible.
I believe I can design that for myself.

I’m creating a system….

Estella Tse 6/16/25 Estella Tse 6/16/25

What does a SUSTAINABLE life look like for me?

I’m speaking less about eco-consciousness but rather about having a long-lasting, enduring, resilient system, way of living, way of being that continuously breathes and grows with me.

What are the BIG players for my ecosystem?…..

Estella Tse 6/5/25 Estella Tse 6/5/25

breathe easy

ahahahha going onto Instagram feels like I’m being pummeled with a barrage of sounds and stimulation - and I have deleted it from my phone already after making that one reel the other day. ahahhahaha

Things I’m learning to accept and understand about this phase right now:

I do much better with quiet
I do much better with controlled input to my nervous system, mind, attention, and focus
There’s no need to feel guilty or selfish for that. It just is.
My creativity and mental health THRIVES without the external noise.
My creativity and mental health THRIVES in my day-to-day life with……

Estella Tse 6/3/25 Estella Tse 6/3/25

can there be a new way of making things?

How might I move away from social media to engage with my audience?

Is it possible to build a brand in the modern era without exploiting the attention, social media addiction, and (already diminishing) energy of my followers and supporters?

I want to create to nourish, to replenish, to provide reprieve for my friends, family, and followers of my work. How might I do that?

And - can my art do that for people?

Estella Tse 6/2/25 Estella Tse 6/2/25

ain’t no saint

“WELP. I BREATHED. I’M DONE MEDITATING.”

It’s okay to be hella impatient with painting and ‘breathing’ on some days 😂😂😂 I’m no fuckin saint LOL

This was a fun little chinese brush experiment. I did one wash all the way around the paper. I dropped some more thicker ink at the center, and moved the paper around in different angles to get the ink to flow along the spiral - using gravity and momentum to move the ink along. Fun little doodle to play with.