Samatha
The daily creative work isn’t just about skill-building. It actually is not that at all.
It’s about showing up as myself, to myself, with my creativity. Honoring the authenticity of what and how I want to create as an expression of myself in the moment.
It takes a lot of mental fortitude to have gotten here - to break out of the high level expectations of my ArtCenter upbringing, to turn down the perfectionist voice. I frankly couldn’t have done this without regular art therapy sessions, which has taught me to make simply because I feel like it. When you’ve been creatively raised with powerhouses like these, this, these, and these friends, it requires a lot of self-trust, discipline, and grounding to remember that my art is mine. And I can make it however I desire and please.
Whether it be a pencil, watercolor, VR, whatever new tech thingy, these are all mediums of my creation. I span and stretch the spectrum of creation.
Each morning, since developing this practice…
I turn on a guided meditation.
I assess how I feel like creating.
I ask my inner Estellas who would like to step forward - are there any childhood Estellas that need to be heard? Who needs to be heard? And let them step forward, with whatever medium they desire.
The art-making isn’t about the result.
It’s about showing up. It’s about giving space. It’s about honoring the parts of me that needs to come out.
I light an incense.
I say a few quiet words to Veronica and my dad - my spiritual guardians and guides. They overlook my sacred studio space in the sanctuary of our home oasis yard.
The rest is just letting my heart lead.
I’m learning to create slowwwwlyyy too. Instead of my inclination for quick, one and done paintings.
Taking my time to breathe, put graphite marks to a page, and to see my beautiful girl’s smile.
I believe Bryan is here to be a guardian of joy and love for us.
Heaven on Earth. <3