Estella Tse 5/8/25 Estella Tse 5/8/25

Discomfort in Peace

I want a Life of fulfillment, with a sense of abundance, of belonging, joy, peace, protection, safety, love, and always with a dog.

It means getting used to the peace. It means riding the discomfort of my neurological system literally rewriting and rewiring itself to a Life of safety and stability.

It means letting go of the things that don’t align nor match with that.

It means leading with my nervous system

It means leading with….

Estella Tse 5/7/25 Estella Tse 5/7/25

Devils

My first Scaniverse splat. A little iddy bitty 3.5” x 2.5” canvas painting.

I did a few splat scans. This one is:

Mesh scan
I removed as much from the surface as possible…..

Estella Tse 5/6/25 Estella Tse 5/6/25

Not Yours to Hold

It was never yours to hold
I’m sorry we placed that into you
The belief that you could be the only one to help us
It wasn’t yours
And we’re sorry

It was our chaos. It was our pain, our frustration, our mayhem…

Estella Tse 4/19/25 Estella Tse 4/19/25

A Moment to Feel

Learning to step away from intensity,
To take moments to sit in my quiet,
To allow myself to just be silent in my mind and being.

Even when it’s good intensity with lots of social time and exertion with friends,
I still need to carve time and space for myself….

Estella Tse 4/17/25 Estella Tse 4/17/25

the simplicity of life

Wake up • Take care of my morning needs • Exercise • Take Bryan out • Make a delicious nutritious bfast for myself • Daily paintings + meditations • Attend to the garden • Work • Check-in with friends • Time with P • Hang with friends over delicious food • Adventure with Bryan • Rest over music, art, trash tv, reflect • Sleep a lot <3 ….

Estella Tse 4/14/25 Estella Tse 4/14/25

the other side of grief

I am incredibly lucky to have the life that I do.

As I get a bit older, I do believe I am very, very lucky. I feel I have guardians that protect me. I feel that I have a strong compass of what I believe is right and wrong. I am extremely grateful for the deck I’ve been dealt - to have safety in many forms, to have love in SO many forms, to have opportunities, and to have the innate optimism and discipline to make more opportunities for myself, too. I have a lot of supporters, I have a tremendous support system.

I am lucky to be gifted an ability and openness to feel deep connection with nature, humanity, and the things beyond our physical realm.

Perhaps that’s why VR feels natural to me. It’s an extension of how I feel - in my body AND externally out into the world(s) around me….

Estella Tse 4/11/25 Estella Tse 4/11/25

worthy of calm

Do you believe you are worthy of calm?Do you believe you are worthy and deserving of the calm + peaceful life you desire?

I’m learning to shed the need for immense intensity, chaos, unpredictability….

Estella Tse 4/9/25 Estella Tse 4/9/25

blueskies

Estella Tse 4/7/25 Estella Tse 4/7/25

old grooves

who do you give access to your nervous system?
whose words and actions are allowed to access your core?

Estella Tse 4/3/25 Estella Tse 4/3/25

calm.

Estella Tse 3/29/25 Estella Tse 3/29/25

forgiveness

beauty in the grief.
beauty in the loss.

Estella Tse 3/27/25 Estella Tse 3/27/25

Mending

Art therapy sesh piece.

Trying to understand why I’ve been in a trauma / depressive state the last few weeks. It’s been a rough go.

I spoke about this conflict of knowing intellectually that slowing down and doing nourishing things are good for me.

And then it gets to a point where I feel like I’m Good™. I no longer need the crutch of “wellness” practices because….