Belief in Self: Light x Darkness
When the Depression hits, it’s an oppressive and thick smoke that covers my perspective of self and the world. It overtakes my innate optimism and hopefulness. My belief in myself gets buried and takes a lot of energy and effort to “find” again. Today is one of those days.
Some writings and musings for the day:
What does it mean to Believe in myself?
Courage. Persistence.
Ability to Overcome Storms.
The things that happen to and around me are out of my control.
I can show up as my authentic, honest self.
And trust that the rest will fall into place.
I think that trust and belief goes into - and MUST — require spirituality. It’s a blind belief. Not based in material concrete evidence.
There are no assurances that things will be okay.
What does matter - proven evidence of the human psyche and behavior - is the belief and hopefulness of something better.
That things will indeed
BE OKAY.
“It’ll be okay in the end.
If things aren’t okay,
It’s not the end.”
Belief that we are more powerful than we could ever imagine.
Belief that we are unique, special, gifted.
That none of us are inconsequential.
That if we harness + nurture our unique gifts and callings
That is enough
to make this world a better place.
Today’s painting started with the darkness overwhelming, encroaching into the rest of the piece. Aggressively, unforgivingly.
I let it dry as I stared at the white space (ironically, called the “negative space” lol).
How can the light win?
Is Light always fighting in defense of itself and what it stands for?
Do the good guys always finish last?
This can’t be the way. This isn’t how yin and yang work. Both energies are just as strong as each other. Together, they hold equilibrium.
Taking the concept of Believing in Myself, I used my chop with my ancestral given name smack dab in the middle — despite my comfort of it being RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE. (1) Chop stamps usually aren’t so blatantly in the middle, it’s sorta in bad taste. Literally self-centered. (2) Maybe this is what my American-raised self allows me to do. It’s not shameful to put myself in the center of my own mental battle. It’s not shameful to own and sit in my power.
The chop sat awkwardly in the middle, still vulnerable to the impending attack of the darkness.
We have greater strength and Light in us than we know. We all have it. It requires believing in ourselves and channeling it. Letting our Lightness shine. If we each show our Light, maybe it is simply enough to meet with others’ Light to fight against the Darkness.
