wisdom from my future self
Where am I?
What am I like?
What do I love to do?
What advice could I give my present self?
Have FUN! Go swim in the river!
You’ve already gotten so far in becoming yourself.
You still have youth, health, vivacity!
Your visions, ideas, inventions won’t disappear. Things can rest for a day or two.
You’re on the right track….
breathe easy
ahahahha going onto Instagram feels like I’m being pummeled with a barrage of sounds and stimulation - and I have deleted it from my phone already after making that one reel the other day. ahahhahaha
Things I’m learning to accept and understand about this phase right now:
I do much better with quiet
I do much better with controlled input to my nervous system, mind, attention, and focus
There’s no need to feel guilty or selfish for that. It just is.
My creativity and mental health THRIVES without the external noise.
My creativity and mental health THRIVES in my day-to-day life with……
can there be a new way of making things?
How might I move away from social media to engage with my audience?
Is it possible to build a brand in the modern era without exploiting the attention, social media addiction, and (already diminishing) energy of my followers and supporters?
I want to create to nourish, to replenish, to provide reprieve for my friends, family, and followers of my work. How might I do that?
And - can my art do that for people?
Kwun Yum 觀音
A return back to self
Return back to my heritage and roots
Goddess of compassion
Goddess of love and blessings
There’s No Perfectionism in Buddhism.
The answer isn’t in doing this right.
Remember to sit in the quiet - the yin.
You’ll find your answers within.
You’ll find your answers withyin LOLOLOLHELP….
Rewiring Neurosystems
The early stages of moving from Scorpio South Node (intensity, transformation) to Taurus North Node (stability, embodiment) often involve creating structured routines as a necessary foundation. However, the mature expression of Taurus energy isn't rigidity but adaptable stability—like a tree that's firmly rooted yet flexible enough to bend with the wind.
From a neurobiological perspective, this is part of the recalibration process. Your nervous system first needs consistent routines to establish safety, but eventually needs to develop flexibility within stability….
Not Yours to Hold
It was never yours to hold
I’m sorry we placed that into you
The belief that you could be the only one to help us
It wasn’t yours
And we’re sorry
It was our chaos. It was our pain, our frustration, our mayhem…
A Moment to Feel
Learning to step away from intensity,
To take moments to sit in my quiet,
To allow myself to just be silent in my mind and being.
Even when it’s good intensity with lots of social time and exertion with friends,
I still need to carve time and space for myself….
the simplicity of life
Wake up • Take care of my morning needs • Exercise • Take Bryan out • Make a delicious nutritious bfast for myself • Daily paintings + meditations • Attend to the garden • Work • Check-in with friends • Time with P • Hang with friends over delicious food • Adventure with Bryan • Rest over music, art, trash tv, reflect • Sleep a lot <3 ….
the other side of grief
I am incredibly lucky to have the life that I do.
As I get a bit older, I do believe I am very, very lucky. I feel I have guardians that protect me. I feel that I have a strong compass of what I believe is right and wrong. I am extremely grateful for the deck I’ve been dealt - to have safety in many forms, to have love in SO many forms, to have opportunities, and to have the innate optimism and discipline to make more opportunities for myself, too. I have a lot of supporters, I have a tremendous support system.
I am lucky to be gifted an ability and openness to feel deep connection with nature, humanity, and the things beyond our physical realm.
Perhaps that’s why VR feels natural to me. It’s an extension of how I feel - in my body AND externally out into the world(s) around me….